You Don’t Have to Be in Crisis to Be Running on Empty

Nervous System RegulationBreathworkMasculinityFirst-responder Wellness

Oct 16

Written By Sergio Cardenas

You don't have to fall apart before something deserves your attention.

You don't have to stop going to work.

You don't have to miss a paycheck.

You don't have to end up in the emergency room.

You don't have to have a breakdown.

You don't even have to feel particularly stressed.

You can still be functioning.

Still working.

Still making money.

Still exercising.

Still taking care of your kids.

Still showing up for your wife.

Still answering the phone when people need you.

Still getting the job done.

And still be running on empty.

That's one of the problems with chronic stress.

When you've been carrying it for long enough, you can start believing the way you feel is simply the way you're supposed to feel.

You call it being busy.

You call it getting older.

You call it being responsible.

You call it being a hard worker.

You call it being a dad.

You call it being a first responder.

You call it being a man.

Eventually, you stop calling it stress at all.

Functioning Doesn't Mean You're Recovered

This is where a lot of people get stuck.

They look at their life and think:

"I'm fine."

And technically, maybe they are.

They're functioning.

But functioning and recovering are two different things.

You can perform while exhausted.

You can be productive while overwhelmed.

You can be successful while carrying more stress than your body is handling well.

You can even become very good at operating under pressure.

That's especially true for people whose lives or careers reward them for staying composed.

First responders know this.

Healthcare professionals know this.

Parents know this.

People who provide for families know this.

People who have built their identity around being dependable know this.

You learn to keep going.

And being able to keep going becomes evidence, in your mind, that nothing is wrong.

But the fact that you can keep driving doesn't mean the engine isn't overdue for maintenance.

Sometimes the Warning Signs Are Easy to Explain Away

Running on empty doesn't always look dramatic.

Sometimes it looks like:

Waking up tired even after getting enough hours in bed
Being irritated by things that normally wouldn't bother you
Having a shorter fuse
Feeling mentally foggy
Needing caffeine just to feel normal
Having trouble sitting still
Constantly checking your phone
Feeling uncomfortable when nothing is happening
Thinking about work when you're supposed to be relaxing
Feeling exhausted but unable to shut your mind off
Losing interest in things you used to enjoy
Withdrawing from people
Feeling like everyone needs something from you
Having difficulty being fully present with your family

None of these automatically means you have a disorder.

And none of them, by themselves, prove that your nervous system is "dysregulated."

But they are worth paying attention to.

Chronic stress is complex. A 2025 scoping review covering 45 reviews and more than 2,000 studies found that chronic stress has been associated across the literature with autonomic imbalance, changes in HPA-axis function, immune effects, and greater allostatic load. The authors also emphasized that chronic stress and burnout cannot be reliably diagnosed with one biomarker or one questionnaire.

That's important because this isn't about putting another label on yourself.

It's about noticing when your current way of living isn't giving you enough opportunity to recover.

The Dangerous Part Is When It Starts Feeling Normal

This is where I think we get into trouble.

If you're tense every day, you may stop noticing that you're tense.

If you're constantly tired, tired becomes your baseline.

If you're always thinking about what's next, you stop recognizing that you never actually stop.

If you're irritable all the time, you may start telling people:

"That's just how I am."

If you can't relax without a television, phone, alcohol, food, exercise, or some other distraction, you may assume that's just your personality.

Maybe.

Or maybe your body has simply become much more familiar with being on than being at rest.

There's a difference.

And you don't necessarily discover that difference during a crisis.

Sometimes you discover it when you finally slow down and realize:

"I don't actually remember the last time I felt settled, calm."

You Don't Have to Wait Until Something Breaks

This is especially important for men.

A lot of men are taught—directly or indirectly—that you address a problem once it becomes serious.

The truck doesn't go to the mechanic because the engine sounds a little different.

It goes when it won't start.

You don't call for help because you're tired.

You call when you can't do the job.

You don't take a day off because you're running low.

You take one when your body forces you to.

There's a certain logic to that.

But your body isn't a machine that should only receive attention after failure.

Recovery is part of performance.

And more importantly, recovery is part of living well.

You don't need to earn the right to take care of yourself by first becoming completely depleted.

First Responders Learn to Function Under Stress

There is a unique challenge in first-responder culture.

Being able to function when things are chaotic is part of the job.

You don't get to panic because you're tired.

You don't get to walk away because you're overwhelmed.

You have a job to do.

You assess.

You prioritize.

You act.

You move on to the next call.

That ability is valuable.

But the skill that keeps you effective during the emergency isn't necessarily the skill that helps you recover afterward.

You can become extremely good at turning stress on without becoming equally good at turning it off.

And when that pattern follows you home, it can affect more than your energy.

It can affect your patience.

Your sleep.

Your relationships.

Your ability to enjoy your time off.

Your ability to sit quietly without feeling like you should be doing something.

Your ability to actually be present.

That's why recovery shouldn't be viewed as something you do only when you're broken.

It's part of staying functional in the first place.

The Same Thing Happens Outside of Emergency Work

You don't have to work on an ambulance or helicopter for this to happen.

Maybe your emergency is financial responsibility.

Maybe it's running a business.

Maybe it's raising kids.

Maybe it's taking care of aging parents.

Maybe it's a demanding career.

Maybe it's being the person everyone calls when something goes wrong.

Maybe it's simply years of never giving yourself much room to stop.

The circumstances are different.

The pattern can be similar.

You keep moving because people depend on you.

And because you keep moving, everyone assumes you're okay.

Eventually, you assume it too.

What If "I'm Fine" Is Actually Just "I Can Still Function"?

That's a question worth asking.

Not because you should convince yourself something is wrong.

But because awareness gives you more choices.

Ask yourself:

How do I feel when nothing needs to be done?

Can you sit down without reaching for your phone?

Can you spend an evening without thinking about tomorrow?

Can you be with your family without mentally being somewhere else?

Can you take a day off without feeling guilty?

Can you fall asleep without your mind running through everything you need to handle?

Can you notice tension in your body before it becomes pain?

Can you recognize when you're getting overloaded?

Can you slow yourself down before you snap at someone?

If the answer is no to several of those questions, that's worth paying attention to.

Not because you're broken.

Because you've probably gotten very good at functioning.

Now you may need to get better at recovering.

Recovery Requires More Than Knowing You Should Relax

Most people already know they should relax.

That's not the problem.

The problem is that telling yourself to relax doesn't necessarily make your body feel relaxed.

You can sit on the couch and still be working internally.

You can take a vacation and spend the entire time thinking about work.

You can have a quiet evening and still feel restless.

You can know intellectually that you're safe while your body remains tense.

This is one reason structured practices can be useful.

They give you something to actually do with the time you're setting aside for recovery.

Breathing is particularly interesting because it is both automatic and voluntary. You don't have to think about breathing to stay alive, but you can intentionally change the pace and pattern of your breathing.

Research supports breathing practices as a potentially useful tool for stress management, although the evidence is not as simple as social media often makes it sound.

A 2025 systematic review of 19 peer-reviewed studies found that 12 studies reported significant improvements in anxiety and nine reported significant improvements in stress following breathing interventions. The authors also noted that larger, higher-quality randomized trials are still needed.

A separate systematic review examining 58 studies found that 54 of 72 breathing interventions were classified as effective for stress or anxiety outcomes. Interestingly, the review found that effective interventions often included human-guided instruction, multiple sessions, and ongoing practice rather than relying on a single isolated experience.

That last point matters.

Recovery isn't necessarily something you do once.

It's something you practice.

Why Longer Guided Sessions Can Be Useful

This is where a 30-, 60-, or 90-minute guided session can be different from taking two minutes to breathe between meetings.

Short practices have their place.

They can give you a way to interrupt a stressful moment.

They can help you transition between activities.

They can become part of a daily routine.

But there is also value in creating a longer period where you aren't responsible for solving anything.

For 30–60 minutes—or longer—you aren't answering the phone.

You aren't taking care of somebody else.

You aren't making decisions.

You aren't trying to be productive.

You aren't performing.

You're simply paying attention.

To your breathing.

To your body.

To your thoughts.

To the tension you've been carrying.

To what you've been avoiding.

To what you actually feel when you stop moving long enough to notice.

That doesn't mean a 60-minute session is automatically better than a five-minute practice.

It means different tools serve different purposes.

A two-minute practice can interrupt the day.

A daily five- or ten-minute practice can build consistency.

A longer guided session can give you more uninterrupted time to explore what happens when you actually stop.

And for someone who has spent years being the person who takes care of everyone else, that can be surprisingly difficult.

And surprisingly valuable.

You Might Discover That You're More Tired Than You Thought

Sometimes you don't realize how much you've been carrying until someone finally gives you permission to put it down.

You sit.

You breathe.

You stop answering questions.

You stop solving problems.

And suddenly you notice:

Your shoulders are exhausted.

Your jaw is tight.

Your chest feels heavy.

Your mind has been running all day.

You're angry.

You're sad.

You're numb.

You're tired.

Or maybe you simply feel relief.

None of that means breathwork is magically "releasing trauma."

It means you're finally giving yourself enough uninterrupted attention to notice what's already there.

That distinction matters.

Breathwork isn't a replacement for therapy, medical treatment, sleep, exercise, healthy relationships, or making meaningful changes in your life.

But it can be one tool in a broader recovery practice.

And sometimes the first thing you need isn't another strategy.

It's enough space to realize how depleted you've become.

Don't Wait for the Breakdown

You don't have to wait until your marriage is struggling.

You don't have to wait until you hate your job.

You don't have to wait until you're snapping at your kids.

You don't have to wait until you're sleeping terribly.

You don't have to wait until you're burned out.

You don't have to wait until somebody else tells you that something is wrong.

You can pay attention now.

That's not weakness.

That's responsibility.

The same way you maintain your equipment before you need it, you can take care of yourself before you reach the point where you have no choice.

You don't maintain your body because you expect it to fail.

You maintain it because you want it to keep working.

Your capacity for stress and recovery deserves the same attention.

Start Before You Need It

Maybe the first step is five minutes of intentional breathing every morning.

Maybe it's a walk without your phone.

Maybe it's going to bed earlier.

Maybe it's talking to somebody.

Maybe it's therapy.

Maybe it's finally taking the day off you've been putting off.

Maybe it's a longer guided breathwork session where somebody else holds the structure for a while and you don't have to be the one in charge.

It doesn't have to be dramatic.

It just has to be intentional.

Because the goal isn't to eliminate stress.

That's impossible.

The goal is to stop making chronic stress your definition of normal.

You should be able to work hard without living exhausted.

You should be able to be responsible without carrying everything alone.

You should be able to handle pressure without forgetting what it feels like to be at ease.

And you don't have to wait until you're in crisis to start.

Final Thoughts

One of the biggest problems with running on empty is that you can look completely fine from the outside.

You're still doing your job.

You're still paying the bills.

You're still taking care of your family.

You're still showing up.

Nobody sees the cost.

Sometimes you don't see it either.

Until you finally slow down.

That's why I don't believe recovery should be something you earn after you've completely depleted yourself.

You don't need a crisis to justify taking care of yourself.

You don't need permission.

And you don't need to prove that you're struggling badly enough.

If you're constantly tired, tense, irritated, distracted, or unable to truly relax, pay attention.

Maybe you're fine.

But maybe you're functioning on a reserve you've been using for a long time.

And maybe it's time to stop asking:

"How much longer can I keep going?"

And start asking:

"What would happen if I actually gave myself a chance to recover?"

If You’re Ready to Stop Running on Empty

A Mictlan Journey is a 1:1 guided breathwork session designed to give you dedicated time away from the constant demands of work, family, and responsibility.

You don't have to arrive in crisis.

You don't have to know exactly what's wrong.

You simply need to be willing to slow down, breathe, and pay attention.

For some people, that might mean starting with a shorter session.

For others, 60–90 minutes creates the uninterrupted space they have been missing.

The goal isn't to fix you.

It's to create space for you to reconnect with yourself and begin building recovery into your life before your body forces you to.

Learn more about Mictlan Journey Somatics and schedule a session.

References

Bentley, T. G. K., D'Andrea-Penna, G., Rakic, M., Arce, N., LaFaille, M., Berman, R., Cooley, K., & Sprimont, P. (2023). Breathing practices for stress and anxiety reduction: Conceptual framework of implementation guidelines based on a systematic review of the published literature. Brain Sciences, 13(12), 1612. https://doi.org/10.3390/brainsci13121612

Fincham, G. W., Strauss, C., Montero-Marin, J., & Cavanagh, K. (2023). Effect of breathwork on stress and mental health: A meta-analysis of randomised-controlled trials. Scientific Reports, 13, 432. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41598-022-27247-y

Morgan, S. P., Lengacher, C. A., & Seo, Y. (2025). A systematic review of breathing exercise interventions: An integrative complementary approach for anxiety and stress in adult populations. Journal of Holistic Nursing, 43(4), 354–376. https://doi.org/10.1177/08980101241273860

Vandenabeele, R., Joosen, M. C. W., & van Dam, A. (2025). Chronic stress in relation to clinical burnout: An integrative scoping review of definitions and measurement approaches. Frontiers in Psychology, 16, 1712340. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2025.1712340

masculinitybreathwork for stress reliefnervous system regulationfirst responderfirst-responder wellness

Sergio Cardenas https://www.mictlanjourneysomatics.com/